Getting Back on the Bike...Again

My first goal of 2013 was to exercise at least 15 minutes a day.  That isn't much.  Literally, less than a minute for each hour I am awake.  I should be able to do that. 

Apparently not.  Today I realized it was January 5th and I hadn't exercised one minute in 2013.  I have literally sat around doing exactly what I despise: nothing.  I have done nothing for months.  I want to stop doing nothing, but have just continued...doing nothing.

So, today was the day.  The first step out of a million is the hardest they say, right?  I picked myself up off the couch and...procrastinated more.  I don't know why it takes so much to get motivated that first time when I go back to exercising.  Even I, a seasoned athlete and exercise freak, procrastinate.  I put on my exercise clothes, looked out the window to see what my husband was doing, got a bottle of water, put a load of clothes in the washer, played with an app on my iPhone, checked the dryer, put new batteries in my stationary bike, fed my fish, charged up my Kindle for entertainment, and THIRTY MINUTES LATER got to riding. 

Why did I put it off right up to the last minute?  Once I got on the bike I watched a minute, two minutes, five minutes...twenty minutes fly by as I was lost reading a book on my Kindle!  Just like that!  I ended with over 5.5 miles in an aerobic training program that does intervals in what seemed like seconds.  And I felt great afterwards, like always.

So why would I put it off?  I think I know the answer.

I am afraid of failing.  If I never start, I won't fail, right? 

Living with PCOS can feel constant failure.  Failure at losing weight, failure at having a baby, failure at eating correctly and so on.  So, at least in my mind, it is just easier to use it as an excuse rather than to try and fail.  I don't want to start exercising and just fall out of the habit and fail.

However if I procrastinate, ironically, in the end I lose AND I fail.  Doesn't make sense, does it?

PCOS is a life threatening disorder that takes constant vigilance to overcome.  PCOS sufferers cannot afford to take days off or to give in just this once, because our lives literally depend on continuing on and following through and fighting the good fight every day of our lives.  It is not fair.  But it is what we have to do. 

It is okay to fail, but you have to continue to pick yourself up and start over.  Get back on that bike.  Take that first step.  Close your eyes and just leap.  AND, it is amazing what happens once you take that first step, or ride that first ride, or make that first leap...wait for it...you feel better immediately!

So, if you are lacking motivation, try to get the courage up and know this---because you are willing to try means you aren't a failure.  I think we need to get in our heads that our only failure comes when we don't try at all.  If you continue trying, you are succeeding.

Keep fighting the fight and don't give up!




 

Tackling Vacation Food (part 2): Visiting Relatives

In my previous post on Tackling Vacation Food (part 1), I discussed how it is important to regulate your food based on what type of vacation you are taking.  I broke vacation "types" into three different categories, family adventures (active vacations), visiting relatives (something we all do at some time in our life!) and destination vacations (cruises, Disneyland, you know, the fun ones!!!).  This post is going to discuss how to tackle healthy eating habits when visiting relatives.  Follow the link above if you haven't read "part 1" in the series!

Eating healthy at home is hard enough, throw in a vacation and "poof!" you have a disaster in the making.  Then add on the fact you are visiting family, it is a perfect storm!  Now, if the relatives you are visiting are heathly vegetable eaters that exercise daily, there might not be much of an issue.  However, I am not so lucky. 

I love my family, more than anything, but I have to paint a picture.  Have you seen the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"?  Well, that is what I face when I visit my family, the only difference is we're Eastern European!  My family can cook. Oh, how they can cook awesome food! And it just keeps coming and coming and coming and, well, you know...  Anyway, going to our family events is hard because everyone makes such incredible food and it isn't particularly healthy.  Over the years, I have come up with a few tactical moves that have helped...

Let's start at the beginning with the actual act of travelling.  If I am travelling by car, I use the same approach that I did in the previous post on tackling vacation food.  I plan ahead, pack healthy snacks, plan meals, etc.  Why this doesn't translate well into travelling by airplane, I don't know.  I do pack our carry-ons with a few healthy snacks, but it seems easier to just purchase snacks at the airport after security.  So the first challenge I face is AIRPORT food. There are so many choices, a person just doesn't know what to choose.  First tip---don't give in to the fast food (I am still trying to convince myself not too)!  If there is enough time, we will choose to sit down at a restaurant that serves real food instead.  If you don't have enough time, you can actually get decent salads and sandwiches at most deli stands at airports.  I also make sure we have a bottle or two of water so we don't fight dehydration (so important!).

Now when you get to your destination and settle into a family member's house, you have to remember to make your health a priority.  It shouldn't offend anyone if you stop at a grocery store to stock up on healthy foods.  If it does, my attitude is that it is their problem.  Really, I know it is hard with family, but you have to just not let it get to you.  I have learned that I have to look out for Number 1 or there is no way I can look out for anyone else.  Plus, in reality, if you are staying at a family member's house, helping with groceries for the trip isn't a bad idea anyway. 

My suggestion for a first line of combat is to pick up healthy breakfast items (low-fat milk, oats, high-fiber cereal, fruit) and also pick up the makings of an incredible salad (throw in a "I don't want to be a burden, I can make a salad for all the meals that will make your mouth water!") and I also pick up some bottled water (sometimes travelling and drinking the water can mess with your system).  So, when you leave the grocery you should have a good defense line built. 

I recommend eating a salad with every lunch and dinner on vacation---and eat it first.  It will fill your stomach so even if you eat food that is bad for you, you won't likely eat as much.  I also recommend trying to eat at a relative's house as much as possible instead of doing the restaurant thing because going out to eat is when it becomes easier and easier to loosen the strings of controlled eating.  If you do eat out, make sure you are looking for something that is not fried or does not have rich sauces on it.  Also, choose iced tea (unsweetened) instead of a soda.

So, that takes care of the regular days, but if your family is anything like mine, we always have huge family gatherings.  This is where I get into BIG trouble.  I suggest drinking some water before you eat.  Then, peruse all the options and you'll generally find that someone made a green salad or brought some fresh fruit or a veggie tray.  I suggest filling at least two-thirds of your plate with these items.  Then, go ahead and sample the good stuff; just sample in moderation.  Then, LET THE FOOD SETTLE.  Do not go back for seconds right away.  If you do, it will be a disaster.  Wait 15-20 minutes, then if there is something you REALLY want, get a moderate second serving.  Or, here is your chance to get a small dessert or sample a couple desserts.  Again, moderation is the key.  Eat it slowly.  Savor the taste.  You will find you get just as much satisfaction out of half of a brownie as you do a whole brownie if you eat it slower and take small bites.  Promise! :-)

I also really try to prepare my mind to make good choices.  It might sound stupid, but I will even do a run through it in my head.  I imagine Grandma coming up to me and saying, "Here, eat, eat, eat..."  Then I imagine myself looking at her and saying, "I promise I am not going to starve, Grandma, and I love your cooking.  I will eat when I am hungry."  I have a very strong willed grandmother and guess what?  It has worked!

As hard as it might seem, a little preparation and planning will allow you to get through your vacation without expanding your waistline! 

Here are a few more tips:
~Request to cook a meal and choose something that is healthy for you!
~Go for walks daily---it is a great time to visit with family too!
~Drink a lot of water---it will keep you hydrated and keep you eating less.
~Be active, go shopping, to an amusement park, to a zoo, something so you aren't just sitting!

Also read: Tackling Vacation Food (part 1): Family Adventures and still to come, Tackling Vacation Food (part 3): Destination Vacations!

Me with my strong willed Grandma Adams on a trip to visit her in Ohio!

Where to Start?

PCOS affects so many facets of our daily lives.  Food, exercise, skin condition, hair condition, weight, emotions, pain and on and on and on...  Where does someone with PCOS even start?  Changing your entire life and way of thinking isn't going to happen over night.

My suggestion is to prioritize what you want to change.  Make a list of what symptoms or difficulties of PCOS frustrate you the most.  I generally limit my list to three items at a time, once I tackle one of those items, I re-evaluate and add another frustration.

So for me, here is what my list might look like.

1.  I am frustrated that I have had fertility issues.
2.  I can't lose weight!
3.  I am an emotional roller coaster.

After I make this list, I write down two things I can do EACH day without fail to help tackle each item.  This can be a hard part because you have to commit to doing this every day, or you will find that you are overwhelmed and end up giving up.  I try to choose small things to do.  For example, if you struggle with your weight and you exercise for 15 minutes a day, try to make a goal to add an additional 5 minutes.  Also, phrase these as "I will" instead of "I will try."  By saying you are going to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through because there isn't an out!

Here is how I might expand my list:

1.  I am frustrated that I have had fertility issues.
~I will read one article a day dealing with infertility to learn more and stay up-to-date on current research
~I will talk to others about my feelings

2.  I can't lose weight!
~I will add an extra 5-10 minutes of physical activity to my schedule
~I will replace all beverages I drink with water instead (except my morning milk!)

3.  I am an emotional roller coaster.~I will make 10 minutes for myself each day to do something for myself
~I will go to bed on time in order to get adequate sleep

After making these mini-goals, put your plan into action.  As you look at my list, I would like to point out that even if I did each and every one of those items it would take about an additional 30 minutes out of my day if I did them individually, but I could combine the physical activity with doing something for myself and not really increase the energy put out by much at all.  However, winning the battle does take commitment, and you are WORTH the time it takes!

Look for my next post on the next steps to take and how rewards help and that hitting a plateau or taking steps backward is okay!

Why Can't I Commit to Myself?

I feel my fight with PCOS comes down to one word. 

Commitment.

I have never been afraid of commitment.  I am able to commit to being a good mother, a good employee, a good spouse and to thousands of other responsibilities in my life.  Why is it so hard when it comes to committing to the time and energy to myself that I need to be healthy?  It doesn't make a lot of sense.  Don't I need to be healthy and in a good state of mind to commit to all those other things?  Even though it doesn't make sense, it really seems to be a huge issue with me.

When I speak of commitment as being the best way to fight PCOS, I mean that I must be committed to eating healthy, committed to exercising, committed to monitor the signs and warnings of problems and committed to finding the best combination of exercise, food and medicine.  Doesn't sound too hard, does it?  Fit all of that into a busy schedule and trust me, the commitment to myself is the first thing I throw out the door.  Why?  Because it is the easiest to get rid of; I can't just stop taking care of my daughter, or my job, or all those other responsibilities, but it is easy to stop budgeting time for healthy cooking and exercising and food journaling and so forth.

As a result, I have noticed a pattern in flair ups of my PCOS symptoms, I definitely go through times of ups and downs.  The pattern is obvious.  When I am committed to exercise and eating healthy, the symptoms disappear or at least aren't as obvious.  It is amazing how that works!  But, then as I begin to start cutting into my exercise time and healthy food preparation time and replace it with other items, my symptoms reappear.  Duh, you might think! It is obvious when I sit and look at it too.  However, I can always justify my decisions at the time I "un-commit."  The cycle keeps circling round and round and round. 

Why can't I commit for good? 

I think for me it is sometimes easier to make an excuse than it is for me to get out and do what I need to do to stay healthy. There is a lot of failure with PCOS, and I hate trying and failing.  I am not lazy, but I will admit, time management is hard for me.  And, I like sleep.  Actually, I LOVE sleep.  I would rather sleep than get up and run or prepare a healthy breakfast.  I like to put everyone else's needs in front of my own.  In my mind, it seems selfish to put mine in front of my daughter's and husband's.  I procrastinate.  All of these things lead to me failing to commit to myself.  So essentially it is a mind game that I just need to get over!

So, here's to committing anew.  Starting today I am going to commit again to my long term health.  Maybe the public commitment of my newly inspired self commitment will do the trick!  I wanted to say thanks for the feedback I have already gotten about this blog.  I definitely feel that I am feeling more inspired than ever.  So, here goes nothing!

Please Don't Judge Me Because I am Fat

Last night I participated in a Walk-A-Thon for our local school district.  I walked 7.25 miles.  I am the heaviest I have ever been, and I can still go out and walk 7.25 on a whim.  Two weeks ago I walked 7.5 miles in Bloomsday.  A month ago I did 3 miles in the local fun run. 

My point is, I am heavy, I am considered obese, yet, I can go out and walk such distances without it phasing me.  So what does this mean?  I firmly feel it means that my muscles are strong and my lungs are in decent shape, I just am carrying around an extra 60 lbs on this small frame.  I am not making excuses, my goal has been and will always be to stay in shape and try to trim off those extra pounds.  But I am living proof that one can be heavy and still be active.

I will admit, I used to be one of those people who would look at someone heavy and think "Boy, they need to lay off of the chips and burgers and get moving."  No longer.  I don't always eat perfectly, in fact this past weekend, I literally fell off the bus of any so called diet I was trying.  But, I am not sedentary.  I do not sit and shove food in my face and watch television.  And yet, I know people look at me and think "Boy, she needs to lay off of the chips and burgers and get moving." 

Through my struggles, I have realized a few things.  Fat doesn't always mean lazy.  Fat doesn't mean that people aren't trying.  Fat isn't always because people are shoveling food in their faces.  Fat can be a result of nasty diseases like PCOS.  Now I am the one who cowers when in public, thinking that all eyes are on me and disecting the food on my plate and judging my choices.

But, that doesn't mean I will give up.  I don't want to be fat.  I don't want to be obese.  I want to fit back into my size 7 jeans or even size 9.  But, even if I reach my goal, I will never judge anyone on their weight again.  Ever.  It was said perfectly by a young girl last evening at the Walk-A-Thon, "You are you, and that's just how you were made."  What an amazing insight. 

So, consider your weaknesses and realize that, "You are you, and that's just how you were made," and be proud of you.

Exercise for fun = BLOOMSDAY!

I spoke of making exercise fun, right? Well, this last weekend I drove 400 miles round trip to participate in a run/walk called Bloomsday in Spokane, Washington! (Check out the race at http://www.bloomsday.org/).  Crazy, right?  My sister, my niece, my daughter and I all walked this in this 7.5 mile walk this year.  My brother-in-law RAN the crazy race and then WALKED it again with us!  We had a blast.  The only thing missing was my mother; she couldn't make it this year. 

My stats (just for fun!)
Finish Time: 2:43:45
Overall Place: 45,875 out of 50,611
Ran with a pace of 21:57 per mile
The average pace for 30-year-olds was 14:04
Placed 842nd among 915 people the same age
Placed 9th among 10 people from Arlee, MT
Placed 1,993rd among 2,117 people from Montana
Placed 33rd among 35 people with the same last name
Placed 27,429th among 30,568 females
Placed 551st out of 612 among 30-year-old females
Placed 2,607th out of 2,929 people in your age group

The city of Spokane, Washington.

Starting line!

The first hill of the race...

Looking behind us!  It is a good motivator to see so many people behind you!

Going up DOOMSDAY!

Only a 1/2 mile left!

These were in our registration bags so we all wore them in honor of my brother-in-law's brother who passed away last summer after a courageous right against colon cancer.

Exercise: Think of it as an Adventure!

If you have read any of my previous posts, you'll know that I am an athlete; just because I am an out of shape athlete that struggles with my weight doesn't mean that in my heart I am not still an athlete.  I live for the "high" of finishing a race or playing in a game or hiking up a mountain.  It is my understanding that not everyone experiences this.  I find that hard to imagine, but as my husband is as anti-exercise as they come, I know that it must be possible!

After making many reflections back over the years, I realize that no matter what I do to exercise, I pick an activity I enjoy, which may be why I am able to reach that "high."  Pounding out miles on a treadmill just doesn't interest me, so, of course it will be boring and dull and feel like work.  Right now my exercise primarily consists of hiking up the mountain behind my house, and once the snow is gone (isn't is almost May?), I will dig out my bike and add that to my routine.  I like to explore new routes and find new paths so it adds variety to my life.  I also have "enlisted" my husband and daughter into embracing the exercise lifestyle, even though as I mentioned before my husband despises exercise.  Through the years, as I have tried to convince him that it is good for him, I have realized he is much more apt to take part if I don't say, "Honey, let's go exercise!"  I change the wording and say "Let's go for an adventure as a family." Taking a walking adventure with the family, for some reason, doesn't sound as intimidating as exercise to my husband.

My guess is that occurs with many people.  Do I enjoy putting the miles on a treadmill?  Heck no!  But, going on an adventure and exploring new routes can make something that sounds dull and boring really appeal to the non-exerciser!  My daughter has even picked up some of the enthusiasm, when we go for walks we "explore" and make "scientific observations."  I really think people associate exercise with going to a gym and sweating for hours on a treadmill.  I have never enjoyed this.  Even when the weather is poor and I have to ride a stationary bike, I read a book or watch a movie while I am doing it.  I also have competitions with myself and see how long I can stay above a certain RPM.  My mind never settles on, "Oh man, I am just sitting here going nowhere."  In my head, I am going somewhere. 

I guess the biggest thing I have realized over my lifetime is that you can mix good old fashion exercise into your daily routine without making a point of saying "This is exercise."  I think that when you do it in a more subconscious fashion, you can really enjoy the moment, AND get the benefit of a healthy lifestyle. 

My Basic Philosophy

As much as I would like to, I can't write everything I have learned over the past 10 years in one post! So, I am writing an outline that I will post in the next few days highlighting what I have done and haven't done with specific symptoms and whatnot. But, in the meantime, here is a basic breakdown of what I do to cope!

1) Most of the time I follow a modified South Beach Diet, when I say modified, it is very modified. I eat lean meat (elk and lean beef). I stay away from WHITE starches as much as possible: white rice, potatoes (the HARDEST thing to do!), and pasta. I do eat whole grain varieties of the items listed above, but only in moderation. In addition, I aim for 30 grams of fiber via food items per day. I really don't look at other things besides the fiber content but you'll find if you look at fiber, you are generally eating lower calorie foods like vegetables. I also avoid sugar. I will outline my meal ideas for you in a later post!

2) I exercise. It hurts, it is painful, it is necessary. Unfortunately to do much good you have to increase your metabolism, which means cardio. I am not a skinny doctor telling you have to exercise, I am an overweight fellow PCOS sufferer and I really do understand how hard it is. There is a basic weightloss formula:

For weightloss: Calories spent - Caloric intake = Loss or Gain. Your calories spent MUST be greater than caloric intake in order to lose weight. What about the fact that PCOS sufferers have a very SLOW metabolism? My goal is to increase my metabolism. I find if I eat what I listed above plus do cardio 4-5 times a week for 45 minutes, I can literally FEEL the boost in my metabolism.

3) I really try to be positive. Right now with the economy tight around the world and extra stress, this is REALLY hard. But, I try to read each night to clear my mind. I try to take time when I am eating lunch and just block out the world. This is THE hardest thing for me to do.

4) Sleep is critical. When I don't sleep well, I don't eat well, I don't exercise, and I am not positive.

These for things, along with medication (at times) have really helped me push back at my symptoms and tell them I am not having anything to do with them. I have definitely strayed from this "basic philosophy," including a current detour but in the end I always come back to the same ideas and get my PCOS back under control. Look for more posts soon on what I do in these areas to help!

Please note: I am not a medical doctor nor am I an expert on PCOS nor do I pretend to be.  Everything I write is from personal experience and based on my research.  Please contact your doctor before you change your diet or exercise intensity or falter from your treatment program.

My Story

My name is Christine Baldwin.  I recently turned the big 30 years old and decided it was time to share my story!  I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over 10 years ago.  It has always been hard for me to share my "problems" in public, especially personal health issues, but I decided that it is time for me to share my story.  I have had triumphs and I have had failures.  I have had good days and I have had days I just want to cry.  Living with PCOS is a challenge and literally has an influence on every decision I make.  I have learned to live with PCOS on MY terms, even though I have faltered many times including a current "relapse," I want to share how I have managed my own PCOS.  In doing so, I hope to help other sufferers learn that you are not alone and there are things you can do in your own life that will help you live with PCOS on your terms, not have to just live with PCOS.

I feel like I don't ever remember a time that I didn't struggle with weight as well as other "female" issues that always influenced my confidence and ability to be comfortable with my own body.  I was a "big" kid.  I wasn't fat, I wasn't unhealthy; I was tall and matured early.  I was extremely active; I rode my bike, I ran, I played outside, I wasn't a kid who often sat doing nothing.  But still, I always remember being "bigger" than my friends who weren't nearly as activie.  How could this be?  When I was 10, I began to notice the differences were becoming more apparent.  I developed a chest early and hit puberty at a much earlier age than my friends.  I also notice that I had more hair on my legs, my arms, and eventually my face.



Me on the left, THREE full years younger than my older sister on my right.  She was always small for her age, but with me being "big" for mine, we hardly look three years apart.



Again, me and my older sister, I am on the left and about 10 years old in this picture.  She is on the right and about 13 years old.

Move on to my teenage years.  I was never fat.  But, for a person who was as active as I was, I wasn't super skinny either.  I was in basketball, track, cross country, and volleyball through various years as well as continued to run and bike on my own.  I tore my ACL playing basketball when I was 14 & 15 and completed a full 20 months of physical therapy.  I was in great shape.  In the fall of 1996, I ran cross country for the first time.  I finished 22 at state out of about 100-125 participants.  I ran the mile and two mile in track that spring.  Again, I was in the best condition of my life.  The next fall, because we didn't have enough girls to warrant a cross country, and I began to play basketball again. 

Again, I am on the left and my sister is on the right.  I ran the mile and two mile during this track season, I was 15 and weight 130 punds.

During this entire time of my life, I still struggled with my weight.  How in the world was it possible?  Often times I would finish running 5-7 miles at track or cross country practice, or finish a 1 and 1/2 hour basketball practice, and then I would go home and ride my bike from 5-8 miles with my mother.  How could I still struggle with my weight?  I never drank pop.  I ate a lot of salads.  I chose water over any other beverage.  And still, I weighed 132-135 pounds at the height of 5'2".  That is at the "high" end of target weights for woman in that height range.  HOW?

My senior year was the telling point---something had to be wrong with me.  I continued to run.  I continued to bike.  I continued to play basketball.  And, I continued to struggle.  A week before my senior prom I tried on the dress I planned to wear (I had purchased on the clearance rack the year before!).  I remembering sitting there crying.  My chest had grown.  My hips had grown.  My weight had taken a 7 pound jump and I now weighed 142 pounds.  My mom was incredible.  She just smiled and said "Let's go shopping."  We got a new dress and disaster was averted.  To this day I remember that one of my life-long friends complimented me on my new dress and told me how tiny my waist was.  That one motivating comment has been with me ever since.  It came when I was feeling extremely self-conscious and made me feel much more comfortable in my own skin.  I don't think she'll ever know what that did for my self esteem at such a critical time in my life.

Turn the page to college.  UCK--FRESHMAN FIFTEEN!  I didn't fall to the vicious cycle!  I made a bet with my brother and I stuck with it.  I gained less than 5 pounds; it took all my heart and soul, but I did it!  I continued with the constant exercise.  I ate next to nothing.  And, I started feeling really, really tired by the next fall.  I was about 147 pounds, 5'2", 19 years old, and felt like I was fighting a losing battle.  I continued to work out.  I continued to eat next to nothing.  And, I started to get migraines, I started to cycle every few months instead of monthly, my acne acted up, I noticed more and more hair, my chest grew A LOT, I felt depressed and I began gaining weight at an astonishing rate.  I went to two physician's assistants, three general practioners, a neurologist, a dietician and was tested for every disease known to mankind. 

Finally, my mother was at her annual exam with the same doctor that had delivered me 20 years earlier.  She mentioned my symptoms and he said, "GET HER IN HERE NOW."  After all those other doctors, he was able to diagnose me without even seeing me in his office.  So, I made an appointment.  I was 20 years old and he told me I had PCOS or PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome.  He didn't hold anything back.  He told me what I had in store for my future: fertility issues, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, excessive hair, heart disease.  In short, it didn't look pretty.  BUT, he certainly didn't say that it wasn't possible to fight this nasty disease.

So, I went home and cried.  I cried and cried and cried.  At 20 years old, having spent my entire life being extremely active and in shape, I didn't like what I heard.  I got mad.  I got so mad that I pledged to myself it wouldn't rule my life.  And, I came up with a game plan.  I was going to get educated on the disease, I was going to work harder, and really watch my eating habits, which as I gained weight had started to slip little by little because it was kind of like "if I don't eat what I want, I am still going to gain weight, so who cares" attitude.  I was 20 years old, 165 lbs, and I had PCOS. 

Me on the left and my sister on the right, I was 22 in this picture, it was shortly before I got married.  I fought and fought to get my weight down to 165 from 170 for my wedding.  It included 1-2 hours of cardio/day.

I am in the center (the blonde) right after my wedding in 2003, I was 165 pounds at this point.

I am on the far right, this is just before I got pregnant in 2004.  I was at about 175 pounds in this picture.

The last 10 years have been full of ups and downs.  The biggest UP was that beyond all expectations, I got pregnant the first month my husband and I tried and were blessed with a healthy baby girl!!!  She is now 6 years old and our little miracle child and is the light of our lives.  The two biggest downers are that we haven't been able to have another child and that my PCOS has gotten somewhat out of control in the past 4.5 years from us trying to conceive.  I now weigh in at 200 pounds.  I don't like how I look or how I feel but just last night I was sitting there, ready to cry, I thought about the young lady who was told 10 years ago that she had PCOS and how she had more fight in her than anyone could imagine.  I need to get back a little of that mental toughness.  So, here I am.  I will live with PCOS on MY terms.  I am not going to let it control me.  And, through my trials and tribulations, I hope to help you learn to live with PCOS on YOUR terms.

Me and my daughter in Yellowstone last fall.  I still maintain a very active healthy lifestyle, my body just doesn't perform to my prior expectations!  My daughter keeps me going and keeps me energized!

Please note: I am not a medical doctor nor am I an expert on PCOS nor do I pretend to be.  Everything I write is from personal experience and based on my research.  Please contact your doctor before you change your diet or exercise intensity or falter from your treatment program.