Getting Back on the Bike...Again

My first goal of 2013 was to exercise at least 15 minutes a day.  That isn't much.  Literally, less than a minute for each hour I am awake.  I should be able to do that. 

Apparently not.  Today I realized it was January 5th and I hadn't exercised one minute in 2013.  I have literally sat around doing exactly what I despise: nothing.  I have done nothing for months.  I want to stop doing nothing, but have just continued...doing nothing.

So, today was the day.  The first step out of a million is the hardest they say, right?  I picked myself up off the couch and...procrastinated more.  I don't know why it takes so much to get motivated that first time when I go back to exercising.  Even I, a seasoned athlete and exercise freak, procrastinate.  I put on my exercise clothes, looked out the window to see what my husband was doing, got a bottle of water, put a load of clothes in the washer, played with an app on my iPhone, checked the dryer, put new batteries in my stationary bike, fed my fish, charged up my Kindle for entertainment, and THIRTY MINUTES LATER got to riding. 

Why did I put it off right up to the last minute?  Once I got on the bike I watched a minute, two minutes, five minutes...twenty minutes fly by as I was lost reading a book on my Kindle!  Just like that!  I ended with over 5.5 miles in an aerobic training program that does intervals in what seemed like seconds.  And I felt great afterwards, like always.

So why would I put it off?  I think I know the answer.

I am afraid of failing.  If I never start, I won't fail, right? 

Living with PCOS can feel constant failure.  Failure at losing weight, failure at having a baby, failure at eating correctly and so on.  So, at least in my mind, it is just easier to use it as an excuse rather than to try and fail.  I don't want to start exercising and just fall out of the habit and fail.

However if I procrastinate, ironically, in the end I lose AND I fail.  Doesn't make sense, does it?

PCOS is a life threatening disorder that takes constant vigilance to overcome.  PCOS sufferers cannot afford to take days off or to give in just this once, because our lives literally depend on continuing on and following through and fighting the good fight every day of our lives.  It is not fair.  But it is what we have to do. 

It is okay to fail, but you have to continue to pick yourself up and start over.  Get back on that bike.  Take that first step.  Close your eyes and just leap.  AND, it is amazing what happens once you take that first step, or ride that first ride, or make that first leap...wait for it...you feel better immediately!

So, if you are lacking motivation, try to get the courage up and know this---because you are willing to try means you aren't a failure.  I think we need to get in our heads that our only failure comes when we don't try at all.  If you continue trying, you are succeeding.

Keep fighting the fight and don't give up!




 

The Diet Game

 Dieting.  Yuck.  We have all played the Diet Game before, and most of us lose, even those who don't have PCOS. 

There are so many diets to choose from too.  South Beach.  HCG.  Atkins.  Mayo Clinic.  Jenny Craig.  Weight Watchers.  The Pyramid Diet.  Glycemic Index.  That is just a few off the top of my head!

So how do we process all this conflicting information?  As a society we generally ignore it and run to the store to grab a bag a chips, a pop and a brownie!  That probably isn't the answer, but I would bet a high percentage of people would admit that is what they have done!

What is the best diet?  That is going to depend.  Probably not the answer that anyone wants to hear.  But, I will tell you what has been successful for me. 

I generally follow what I would call a "good carbs that are high in fiber and low in sugar and good fat" diet, probably closest to the South Beach Diet but with my own modifications.  I do not cut all starches out of my diet.  When I have done that, I go crazy.  Yes, that probably means I am a carb addict (oh, there is another diet name, the Carbohydrate Addict's Diet), but I think that by denying yourself what you crave the most, you are more likely to end in a crash landing.

What are good carbs?  Good carbs include many vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts and whole grains.  What then are bad carbs?  Sugars, processed or "white" grains, most baked goods, alcohol and so on.  It really can be broken down to foods that are not processed very much to those that are highly processed.  Take "minute" rice for example.  In order get the rice to cook in a minute, it is highly processed and much of the fiber is removed.  Brown rice, on the other hand, will often take up to 45 minutes to cook as it takes that long to "soften" up the fiber.  I will get more specific on the high fiber and low sugar portion in a minute.

What about good fats?  This generally includes lean meats, vegetable oils and low fat dairy products.  Bad fats would include fatty meats (hamburger), high-fat dairy and some oils.  I also try to avoid a lot of sauces, unless they are vegetable or chicken broth based, because otherwise they tend to be extremely high in bad fats.

I really feel the critical part of how my successful eating is the high fiber items that are low in sugars.  That means a LOT of vegetables, legumes and low sugar fruits.  My goal is to eat 30-35g of fiber per day (do not attempt to get there overnight!).  I do try to avoid vegetables and fruit that are high in sugar content (corn, beets, bananas, pineapple and watermelon).  I firmly feel that lack of fiber in our every day diet is part of the reason so many people struggle with weight these days.

Maintaining the healthy eating is not easy.  Food preparation often takes more time (check out my previous post on commiting to myself: Why Can't I Commit to Myself?)  Eating out is harder.  Socially your conscious about every move you make regarding food (another previous post: Please Don't Judge Me Because I am Fat).  And, bad food just tastes better.  How can anyone make it work?

When it is working well for me, it is because my entire family is on board.  I just can't do it alone.  It makes it easier when the whole family sits down to dinner and eats the same food.  And, truthfully, the "diet" I have described is really a healthy eating plan for most average people.  It is also easier when you go out to dinner and your husband orders chicken breast, with vegetables and a salad, with the dressing on the side and an unsweetened iced tea rather than a huge burger with fries and a salad slathered in ranch dressing with a Coke. 

Eating healthy isn't an option for those with PCOS.  If we don't, the future implications are just too grim.  It IS hard to eat healthy.  I fall out of the boat, a lot, but I know the basics of nutrition and what works for me, so it is easy to get back in again.  The "Diet Game" doesn't work, to make real change is a must.  I am not sure I will ever get it, but I have to try!

I am NOT a doctor or dietician.  The above eating plan is based solely on my research.  Please consult a doctor or dietician before changing your eating or exercise plan!

Why Can't I Commit to Myself?

I feel my fight with PCOS comes down to one word. 

Commitment.

I have never been afraid of commitment.  I am able to commit to being a good mother, a good employee, a good spouse and to thousands of other responsibilities in my life.  Why is it so hard when it comes to committing to the time and energy to myself that I need to be healthy?  It doesn't make a lot of sense.  Don't I need to be healthy and in a good state of mind to commit to all those other things?  Even though it doesn't make sense, it really seems to be a huge issue with me.

When I speak of commitment as being the best way to fight PCOS, I mean that I must be committed to eating healthy, committed to exercising, committed to monitor the signs and warnings of problems and committed to finding the best combination of exercise, food and medicine.  Doesn't sound too hard, does it?  Fit all of that into a busy schedule and trust me, the commitment to myself is the first thing I throw out the door.  Why?  Because it is the easiest to get rid of; I can't just stop taking care of my daughter, or my job, or all those other responsibilities, but it is easy to stop budgeting time for healthy cooking and exercising and food journaling and so forth.

As a result, I have noticed a pattern in flair ups of my PCOS symptoms, I definitely go through times of ups and downs.  The pattern is obvious.  When I am committed to exercise and eating healthy, the symptoms disappear or at least aren't as obvious.  It is amazing how that works!  But, then as I begin to start cutting into my exercise time and healthy food preparation time and replace it with other items, my symptoms reappear.  Duh, you might think! It is obvious when I sit and look at it too.  However, I can always justify my decisions at the time I "un-commit."  The cycle keeps circling round and round and round. 

Why can't I commit for good? 

I think for me it is sometimes easier to make an excuse than it is for me to get out and do what I need to do to stay healthy. There is a lot of failure with PCOS, and I hate trying and failing.  I am not lazy, but I will admit, time management is hard for me.  And, I like sleep.  Actually, I LOVE sleep.  I would rather sleep than get up and run or prepare a healthy breakfast.  I like to put everyone else's needs in front of my own.  In my mind, it seems selfish to put mine in front of my daughter's and husband's.  I procrastinate.  All of these things lead to me failing to commit to myself.  So essentially it is a mind game that I just need to get over!

So, here's to committing anew.  Starting today I am going to commit again to my long term health.  Maybe the public commitment of my newly inspired self commitment will do the trick!  I wanted to say thanks for the feedback I have already gotten about this blog.  I definitely feel that I am feeling more inspired than ever.  So, here goes nothing!