A Good Doctor = Happy Patient

I have been blessed during my nearly 12 years of being treated for PCOS.  After going to 5-6 doctors/specialists, my mother told her doctor the troubles that I had been having.  He told her to get me in immediately.  This is the same doctor that delivered me (and my sister) so we had a good family history with him.  I went to him and immediately he diagnosed me with PCOS.  He prepared me for the struggles I would face and immediately began to work out a plan for conception, even though I was only 19.  Now, after 12 years, he is retiring so he can become a full-time grandfather.  Good for him, bad for me.

From the first time I went to him, treatment was easy.  He made it easy.  He wasn't always a tender doctor and I have never really recommended him to a lot of people because he could definitely be difficult at times.  I can't even think of how to describe him other than kind of arrogant, kind of cocky and kind of a pig.  I would call him a "typical" male---which isn't always good for a person in the role of a doctor. 

But, as a doctor, he was perfect for me and my family. 

There are two things that throughout the years made his practice stand out from the other experts I had seen.  First, he always recommended that I research my treatment before committing to it.  He encouraged patient research and though he didn't always agree 100% with my conclusions, he generally didn't belittle the knowledge I gained on my own.  Secondly, and most importantly, he did something that we rarely see in this age of patient in, patient out service.  He cared.  Even in retirement, I know he will still care.  How rare is that?  From talking to my friends and family, it is something much more rare than it should be in the health profession.  He cared so deeply that my struggles became his, my triumphs he shared with me and my disappointments were his as well.  I am going to miss him.

When I got the letter that he was retiring, I literally began to sob.  Twelve years.  How do I go to a new doctor and explain the entire history?  I have a lot of baggage from over the years. 

He made many, many important medical decisions in my treatment that have turned out to be so major that I just don't know how to trust anyone else the same way.  He made a call to schedule a C-section for my daughter two weeks before she was due because she was breech, she was large and my body isn't necessarily made to birth easily.  Thank God he did as we would have ended up in an emergency C-section anyway---she decided to do gymnastics in my belly and had the cord around her neck three times.  He just kept saying, "Delivering naturally is not worth losing a baby or you."  He was right. 

On and on my history has been with him.  He worked out a plan for me to conceive for the nearly 5 years before I was ready to try.  He made the call on the C-section.  He moved Heaven & Earth to see me when I had my first miscarriage and had to have a surgical procedure afterwards.  He took a phone call at home on Sunday morning, personally, when I had my second miscarriage.  How many doctors give you their home phone number and EXPECT you to use it?  Again, he got me right in after the second miscarriage too for that same surgical procedure---essentially by rearranging the entire operating room schedule.  When I left his office last week for the last time, he gave me a hug that was no different than I would have gotten from my own father.  He cared.  He cares. 

So, now what?  He is recommending I see his surgical partner, and actually assisted with my C-section, who may not be quite as well versed on PCOS, but will follow the plan we came up with together .  But, what do I do when I go see the new doctor---how can I fit 12 years into one appointment?  I haven't ever really switched doctors before.  I don't like to admit it much, but I am scared.  I know there are other doctors, other GOOD doctors, out there, but I was spoiled.  I don't want to be a number.  I want a doctor who cares.

  This isn't supposed to be a negative post---I am feeling better now than I did a few weeks ago.  I just wanted to share my experience with a good doctor---one who took my health personally---so that everyone out there who has struggled finding a good one knows that they do exist.  Does your doctor care about you this way?  If not, I suggest you keep looking---there will be one out there that fits with your needs.  I just hope I strike it rich twice...so here goes the next step down the road for PCOS.

Picking Myself Up, Again and Again

The last few weeks have been a doozy for me.  Nothing bad in particular, I have just felt miserable, crappy and nasty.  I have been trying to figure out what the issue has been and of course, try to get over it.  My PCOS seems to be going berserk, my doctor decided to retire (I have been going to him for 12 years), I had bronchitis, I have had huge stress at work (I work as an accountant in the middle of a recession in the construction industry---you do the math), I have no energy and just have been exhausted.  To top it off, I can't sleep because I can't shut my mind off. 

For the past year, my PCOS has been on a roll like I have never seen before and I think I am hitting my breaking point.  I am sick of not feeling well.  I am sick of having to take a handful of medicine each day.  I am sick of cyst pain.  I am heavier than I have ever been.  I am just sick of it.  Everyone with a chronic disease feels this way at some time in their life.  I literally am just sick of PCOS.  I hate it. 

So, what am I going to do about it?  I could stay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself because right now that is just what I want to do.  It would just be so much easier to give up, to stop caring.  I am just tired.

But, I won't do that.  If you have read my previous posts, you'll see most of the time I am a very optimistic, reach for the stars kind of person.  I have to get back to that point---because right now I am just cranky.  So, I will.  Tomorrow I am going to try to get up with a smile on my face.  I am going to beat this thing, I refuse to let it control me.  Stupid as it may sound, just saying that out loud can make a difference.  I am going to follow my own advice and start by making a list.  I will not let this get me down any longer.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I WILL find a new doctor that cares about me as much as the old, I WILL leave my stress at work, I WILL get enough sleep tomorrow night and I WILL beat my PCOS. 

The funny thing is, I feel better already...