Exercise: Think of it as an Adventure!

If you have read any of my previous posts, you'll know that I am an athlete; just because I am an out of shape athlete that struggles with my weight doesn't mean that in my heart I am not still an athlete.  I live for the "high" of finishing a race or playing in a game or hiking up a mountain.  It is my understanding that not everyone experiences this.  I find that hard to imagine, but as my husband is as anti-exercise as they come, I know that it must be possible!

After making many reflections back over the years, I realize that no matter what I do to exercise, I pick an activity I enjoy, which may be why I am able to reach that "high."  Pounding out miles on a treadmill just doesn't interest me, so, of course it will be boring and dull and feel like work.  Right now my exercise primarily consists of hiking up the mountain behind my house, and once the snow is gone (isn't is almost May?), I will dig out my bike and add that to my routine.  I like to explore new routes and find new paths so it adds variety to my life.  I also have "enlisted" my husband and daughter into embracing the exercise lifestyle, even though as I mentioned before my husband despises exercise.  Through the years, as I have tried to convince him that it is good for him, I have realized he is much more apt to take part if I don't say, "Honey, let's go exercise!"  I change the wording and say "Let's go for an adventure as a family." Taking a walking adventure with the family, for some reason, doesn't sound as intimidating as exercise to my husband.

My guess is that occurs with many people.  Do I enjoy putting the miles on a treadmill?  Heck no!  But, going on an adventure and exploring new routes can make something that sounds dull and boring really appeal to the non-exerciser!  My daughter has even picked up some of the enthusiasm, when we go for walks we "explore" and make "scientific observations."  I really think people associate exercise with going to a gym and sweating for hours on a treadmill.  I have never enjoyed this.  Even when the weather is poor and I have to ride a stationary bike, I read a book or watch a movie while I am doing it.  I also have competitions with myself and see how long I can stay above a certain RPM.  My mind never settles on, "Oh man, I am just sitting here going nowhere."  In my head, I am going somewhere. 

I guess the biggest thing I have realized over my lifetime is that you can mix good old fashion exercise into your daily routine without making a point of saying "This is exercise."  I think that when you do it in a more subconscious fashion, you can really enjoy the moment, AND get the benefit of a healthy lifestyle. 

Helping Others with PCOS

My doctor was able to diagnose me with PCOS without meeting me.  He was my mother's doctor and she expressed how frustrated I had gotten with weight gain and tiredness and no one being able to diagnose why.  He asked my mother a few simple questions.  They included:

When did I REALLY start struggling with weight? (Answer: 18)
Did I have a large chest? (Answer: YES!)
Did I struggle with acne and having abnormally hairy face? (Answer: YES!)
Was I cycling often? (Answer: NO)

She answered his questions and he responded with a "GET HER IN HERE NOW."  I really believe that by going to him at such a young age and being diagnosed immediately is part of the reason I have done better at coping with the disease than others.  Also, I was diagnosed at more of a "prime time" in my life, before I started really struggling with the elements that age also brings like natural weight gain and whatnot.  I have heard many people don't find out their condition until they try to conceive and can't, or those that don't ever try to conceive and don't find out until they are experiencing pre-diabetic problems, high blood pressure and other health concerns that go along with PCOS.

So, this has become a mission in my life.  I feel that those of us that suffer from PCOS should not be silent.  No one wants to discuss menstruation cycles, weight struggles, having a hairy face (hirsutism), and so forth.  I sure didn't.  I am a very private person.  I dread "the birds and the bees" discussion that I will be having with my daughter when the time is right.  But, here is the thing, I have to share my story.  I now realize that if I don't, I can't help anyone else that might not know they are struggling, learn to cope with the disease. 

I wasn't open about my PCOS until I found out one of my longtime friends was also fighting with it.  It breaks my heart because IF I had been open about my problems, she may have been able to be diagnosed 5 years earlier.  And for those of us with PCOS, knowledge of what is causing the problem is the key to finding a solution, or at least striving for a solution.  Am I going to go into a group of friends and family and say, "Hey, I have this thing that makes me not cycle, be fat, makes me hairy and you are going to listen to me!"?  No, I won't do that, but if I know someone who has similar symptoms and issues, I will tell them, "Ask your doctor about PCOS."  I would rather be wrong about my suspicions with another than not let someone know PCOS exists.  I have also notified some of my cousins about PCOS and that if they begin to exhibit the symptoms, to see a doctor.  I plan on talking to the rest of my cousins as well.

Secondly, for those of us that suffer from PCOS and aim to have children, or already do have children, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR NOW about a plan for your female children.  My daughter was 1 year-old when I first talked to my doctor about what her chances of fighting the same battle would be.  My sister (in the genetics field) and I figured out that because I suffer from PCOS and my mother-in-law LIKELY suffers from PCOS, that my daughter would roughly have an 87.5% chance of also suffering from PCOS (this statistic is NOT a result of any scientific study, just us taking the facts we knew and trying to come up with a logical result).  Now, I am praying she doesn't, but I am already trying to help her learn to make choices that might help her down the line.  She will go to a gynecologist when she first reaches her teenage years---not a fun thing for anyone that age, but it is something that is a must.  She will likely be put on some form of birth control as a teenager so that it "shuts" her ovaries off until she needs them for reproduction.  I also have taught her to make healthy eating decisions and enjoy exercise.  Most nights during the week, our family goes for walks together and we hike often in the summer.  So, while she may not have PCOS, I feel it is my responsibility to help her before it becomes an issue.

So, this blog is my way of trying to reach others.  My doctor feels that PCOS sufferers often "diagnose" up to 5 others with PCOS during their lifetime.  Let's make it known that we are not going to give up and are there for others who also might suffer!

Please note: I am not a medical doctor nor am I an expert on PCOS nor do I pretend to be.  Everything I write is from personal experience and based on my research.  Please contact your doctor before you change your diet or exercise intensity or falter from your treatment program.

Positivity: Connections Matter

In my post yesterday about my basic philosophy, I listed being positive as being a basic part of my success with my battle against PCOS. I really my positive attitude has helped me find success. My doctor has often said that he feels I am upbeat about my condition and that it really helps me "conquer." The last doctor's appointment I had, he said that he could see my positivity slipping and so I really took note of that and concentrated on the postives in my life.

As I reflected, I realized that being positive often stems from the people who are my "rocks" and stand with me through everything. My friends and family are absolutely incredible. I have so many unique relationships that really provide me with the stability I need to make it through.

I suggest that everyone sit down and reflect on who the people are that help them get through. Knowing you have an emotional foundation to fall back on when you are struggling is important. Who are your "rocks?"

These are mine:
~My daughter, Elaina, is probably the number one "rock" for me. She provides me with inspiration that cannot be expressed in words. I want to be there for her, so I have to make my health a priority.

~My husband and best friend, Ron, is also incredible. He has stuck with me through the mood swings, the ups and downs, the pressures of fertility issues, the weight gain and it all. I really feel it is as hard on him as it is on me.

This is my husband, Ron, my daughter, Elaina and me on one of our many adventures.

~My mother is always there to tell me, "Remember, it could be worse, you are alive and have so much going for you." It helps to remember that it can ALWAYS be worse, even in our darkest hour.

~My sister and my OTHER best friend, Annie, is and will always be there for me. She is there to tell me that even though it can be worse, that it just plain nasty for anyone to deal with. She is also my medical link---she is a genetic counselor and will often times send me medical papers and information with the latest updates on PCOS. It can be very helpful. From left to right is my mother, Carol, Elaina, me and my sister, Annie hiking at the Grand Canyon.

~My doctor really helps me stay down to earth. I don't always like him, he can be pretty arrogant, but at the end of the day, my best interest is what he is aiming for, even when he has to tell me things I don't want to hear. He also made a couple of critical calls in my pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby for us, so he will always be important to me and my family!

~My wonderful friend, Kristi, who also suffers from PCOS is the ear I can bend whenever I am in need. She understands 100%. Having someone who knows my experiences is more valuable than I could ever imagine. She is always there to throw ideas off of or talk about her own experiences or listen to mine. I really feel she has helped with my coping with PCOS more than anyone else. This is me with Kristi (on the right) at my wedding! I stole this picture from her!
Read her blog: http://myjourneythroughhormonalhell.blogspot.com/

~My mother-in-law, Colleen, also likely suffered from PCOS. She dealt with fertility issues and has been a great inspiration as she has lost over 100 lbs and kept it off. Colleen and Elaina at a lake in Montana. She looks great!

So, the next time you are struggling to remain positive, just write a quick list of the people in your life that are there for you and how they can help you succeed!

My Basic Philosophy

As much as I would like to, I can't write everything I have learned over the past 10 years in one post! So, I am writing an outline that I will post in the next few days highlighting what I have done and haven't done with specific symptoms and whatnot. But, in the meantime, here is a basic breakdown of what I do to cope!

1) Most of the time I follow a modified South Beach Diet, when I say modified, it is very modified. I eat lean meat (elk and lean beef). I stay away from WHITE starches as much as possible: white rice, potatoes (the HARDEST thing to do!), and pasta. I do eat whole grain varieties of the items listed above, but only in moderation. In addition, I aim for 30 grams of fiber via food items per day. I really don't look at other things besides the fiber content but you'll find if you look at fiber, you are generally eating lower calorie foods like vegetables. I also avoid sugar. I will outline my meal ideas for you in a later post!

2) I exercise. It hurts, it is painful, it is necessary. Unfortunately to do much good you have to increase your metabolism, which means cardio. I am not a skinny doctor telling you have to exercise, I am an overweight fellow PCOS sufferer and I really do understand how hard it is. There is a basic weightloss formula:

For weightloss: Calories spent - Caloric intake = Loss or Gain. Your calories spent MUST be greater than caloric intake in order to lose weight. What about the fact that PCOS sufferers have a very SLOW metabolism? My goal is to increase my metabolism. I find if I eat what I listed above plus do cardio 4-5 times a week for 45 minutes, I can literally FEEL the boost in my metabolism.

3) I really try to be positive. Right now with the economy tight around the world and extra stress, this is REALLY hard. But, I try to read each night to clear my mind. I try to take time when I am eating lunch and just block out the world. This is THE hardest thing for me to do.

4) Sleep is critical. When I don't sleep well, I don't eat well, I don't exercise, and I am not positive.

These for things, along with medication (at times) have really helped me push back at my symptoms and tell them I am not having anything to do with them. I have definitely strayed from this "basic philosophy," including a current detour but in the end I always come back to the same ideas and get my PCOS back under control. Look for more posts soon on what I do in these areas to help!

Please note: I am not a medical doctor nor am I an expert on PCOS nor do I pretend to be.  Everything I write is from personal experience and based on my research.  Please contact your doctor before you change your diet or exercise intensity or falter from your treatment program.

My Story

My name is Christine Baldwin.  I recently turned the big 30 years old and decided it was time to share my story!  I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over 10 years ago.  It has always been hard for me to share my "problems" in public, especially personal health issues, but I decided that it is time for me to share my story.  I have had triumphs and I have had failures.  I have had good days and I have had days I just want to cry.  Living with PCOS is a challenge and literally has an influence on every decision I make.  I have learned to live with PCOS on MY terms, even though I have faltered many times including a current "relapse," I want to share how I have managed my own PCOS.  In doing so, I hope to help other sufferers learn that you are not alone and there are things you can do in your own life that will help you live with PCOS on your terms, not have to just live with PCOS.

I feel like I don't ever remember a time that I didn't struggle with weight as well as other "female" issues that always influenced my confidence and ability to be comfortable with my own body.  I was a "big" kid.  I wasn't fat, I wasn't unhealthy; I was tall and matured early.  I was extremely active; I rode my bike, I ran, I played outside, I wasn't a kid who often sat doing nothing.  But still, I always remember being "bigger" than my friends who weren't nearly as activie.  How could this be?  When I was 10, I began to notice the differences were becoming more apparent.  I developed a chest early and hit puberty at a much earlier age than my friends.  I also notice that I had more hair on my legs, my arms, and eventually my face.



Me on the left, THREE full years younger than my older sister on my right.  She was always small for her age, but with me being "big" for mine, we hardly look three years apart.



Again, me and my older sister, I am on the left and about 10 years old in this picture.  She is on the right and about 13 years old.

Move on to my teenage years.  I was never fat.  But, for a person who was as active as I was, I wasn't super skinny either.  I was in basketball, track, cross country, and volleyball through various years as well as continued to run and bike on my own.  I tore my ACL playing basketball when I was 14 & 15 and completed a full 20 months of physical therapy.  I was in great shape.  In the fall of 1996, I ran cross country for the first time.  I finished 22 at state out of about 100-125 participants.  I ran the mile and two mile in track that spring.  Again, I was in the best condition of my life.  The next fall, because we didn't have enough girls to warrant a cross country, and I began to play basketball again. 

Again, I am on the left and my sister is on the right.  I ran the mile and two mile during this track season, I was 15 and weight 130 punds.

During this entire time of my life, I still struggled with my weight.  How in the world was it possible?  Often times I would finish running 5-7 miles at track or cross country practice, or finish a 1 and 1/2 hour basketball practice, and then I would go home and ride my bike from 5-8 miles with my mother.  How could I still struggle with my weight?  I never drank pop.  I ate a lot of salads.  I chose water over any other beverage.  And still, I weighed 132-135 pounds at the height of 5'2".  That is at the "high" end of target weights for woman in that height range.  HOW?

My senior year was the telling point---something had to be wrong with me.  I continued to run.  I continued to bike.  I continued to play basketball.  And, I continued to struggle.  A week before my senior prom I tried on the dress I planned to wear (I had purchased on the clearance rack the year before!).  I remembering sitting there crying.  My chest had grown.  My hips had grown.  My weight had taken a 7 pound jump and I now weighed 142 pounds.  My mom was incredible.  She just smiled and said "Let's go shopping."  We got a new dress and disaster was averted.  To this day I remember that one of my life-long friends complimented me on my new dress and told me how tiny my waist was.  That one motivating comment has been with me ever since.  It came when I was feeling extremely self-conscious and made me feel much more comfortable in my own skin.  I don't think she'll ever know what that did for my self esteem at such a critical time in my life.

Turn the page to college.  UCK--FRESHMAN FIFTEEN!  I didn't fall to the vicious cycle!  I made a bet with my brother and I stuck with it.  I gained less than 5 pounds; it took all my heart and soul, but I did it!  I continued with the constant exercise.  I ate next to nothing.  And, I started feeling really, really tired by the next fall.  I was about 147 pounds, 5'2", 19 years old, and felt like I was fighting a losing battle.  I continued to work out.  I continued to eat next to nothing.  And, I started to get migraines, I started to cycle every few months instead of monthly, my acne acted up, I noticed more and more hair, my chest grew A LOT, I felt depressed and I began gaining weight at an astonishing rate.  I went to two physician's assistants, three general practioners, a neurologist, a dietician and was tested for every disease known to mankind. 

Finally, my mother was at her annual exam with the same doctor that had delivered me 20 years earlier.  She mentioned my symptoms and he said, "GET HER IN HERE NOW."  After all those other doctors, he was able to diagnose me without even seeing me in his office.  So, I made an appointment.  I was 20 years old and he told me I had PCOS or PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome.  He didn't hold anything back.  He told me what I had in store for my future: fertility issues, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, excessive hair, heart disease.  In short, it didn't look pretty.  BUT, he certainly didn't say that it wasn't possible to fight this nasty disease.

So, I went home and cried.  I cried and cried and cried.  At 20 years old, having spent my entire life being extremely active and in shape, I didn't like what I heard.  I got mad.  I got so mad that I pledged to myself it wouldn't rule my life.  And, I came up with a game plan.  I was going to get educated on the disease, I was going to work harder, and really watch my eating habits, which as I gained weight had started to slip little by little because it was kind of like "if I don't eat what I want, I am still going to gain weight, so who cares" attitude.  I was 20 years old, 165 lbs, and I had PCOS. 

Me on the left and my sister on the right, I was 22 in this picture, it was shortly before I got married.  I fought and fought to get my weight down to 165 from 170 for my wedding.  It included 1-2 hours of cardio/day.

I am in the center (the blonde) right after my wedding in 2003, I was 165 pounds at this point.

I am on the far right, this is just before I got pregnant in 2004.  I was at about 175 pounds in this picture.

The last 10 years have been full of ups and downs.  The biggest UP was that beyond all expectations, I got pregnant the first month my husband and I tried and were blessed with a healthy baby girl!!!  She is now 6 years old and our little miracle child and is the light of our lives.  The two biggest downers are that we haven't been able to have another child and that my PCOS has gotten somewhat out of control in the past 4.5 years from us trying to conceive.  I now weigh in at 200 pounds.  I don't like how I look or how I feel but just last night I was sitting there, ready to cry, I thought about the young lady who was told 10 years ago that she had PCOS and how she had more fight in her than anyone could imagine.  I need to get back a little of that mental toughness.  So, here I am.  I will live with PCOS on MY terms.  I am not going to let it control me.  And, through my trials and tribulations, I hope to help you learn to live with PCOS on YOUR terms.

Me and my daughter in Yellowstone last fall.  I still maintain a very active healthy lifestyle, my body just doesn't perform to my prior expectations!  My daughter keeps me going and keeps me energized!

Please note: I am not a medical doctor nor am I an expert on PCOS nor do I pretend to be.  Everything I write is from personal experience and based on my research.  Please contact your doctor before you change your diet or exercise intensity or falter from your treatment program.