The last few weeks have been a doozy for me. Nothing bad in particular, I have just felt miserable, crappy and nasty. I have been trying to figure out what the issue has been and of course, try to get over it. My PCOS seems to be going berserk, my doctor decided to retire (I have been going to him for 12 years), I had bronchitis, I have had huge stress at work (I work as an accountant in the middle of a recession in the construction industry---you do the math), I have no energy and just have been exhausted. To top it off, I can't sleep because I can't shut my mind off.
For the past year, my PCOS has been on a roll like I have never seen before and I think I am hitting my breaking point. I am sick of not feeling well. I am sick of having to take a handful of medicine each day. I am sick of cyst pain. I am heavier than I have ever been. I am just sick of it. Everyone with a chronic disease feels this way at some time in their life. I literally am just sick of PCOS. I hate it.
So, what am I going to do about it? I could stay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself because right now that is just what I want to do. It would just be so much easier to give up, to stop caring. I am just tired.
But, I won't do that. If you have read my previous posts, you'll see most of the time I am a very optimistic, reach for the stars kind of person. I have to get back to that point---because right now I am just cranky. So, I will. Tomorrow I am going to try to get up with a smile on my face. I am going to beat this thing, I refuse to let it control me. Stupid as it may sound, just saying that out loud can make a difference. I am going to follow my own advice and start by making a list. I will not let this get me down any longer.
Tomorrow is a new day. I WILL find a new doctor that cares about me as much as the old, I WILL leave my stress at work, I WILL get enough sleep tomorrow night and I WILL beat my PCOS.
The funny thing is, I feel better already...
I tried to post a couple weeks ago and it disappeared. We'll see if it works this time... Your blog reads like a book much of the time. Sometime when you're in search of a project (ha ha...in your SPARE time), this would be interesting to try to publish. I know it's a rough process, but I also know how rewarding it would be for you to "get the word out" to the world about PCOS. If you ever want a helper with a project like that, you know you've got one!
ReplyDeleteChin up. Things WILL get better!
I'm so sorry you're struggling. I know how you feel. I, too, get so darn tired of not feeling good. And it's so hard to stay positive!
ReplyDeleteI am back to going to Curves again and love it (the Curves I was attending closed, so I had to find another one!). I am also having acupuncture done and he is taking me off of the Metformin. I am so excited to be getting off of a medication! (I am on four).
I hope today is a better day. Sending hugs!
How has Curves worked for you? Are you still going?
DeleteIt is great to get your frustrations out Chris. We all have our "internal" battles and it is so frustrating and overwhelming sometimes. You are a trooper and I know you will prevail. Remember to put you at the top of your list (as if I always do this ;-) Take care and I'll say little prayers for you through out the day sending you some positive energy.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteThanks for sharing such information with us. Polycystic ovarian disorder is a common cause of anovulation and infertility in women. These women do not ovulate (release eggs) regularly and therefore have irregular menstrual periods.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is just the tip of the iceberg! It is a very common problem---some experts feel about 10% of females suffer from the condition.
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